I can’t add much to Mr. Martin’s comments, other than to say that those “good political wives” who stand there and let their husbands publicly humiliate them make my skin crawl. Are they so afraid to lose the status that being married to the governor or the mayor (or the president!) gives them that they just stand there and gaze adoringly at the man who has cheated on them privately and now has to put it out there in public?

Man, I so totally agree with you on that! One has to wonder whether these “wives” have any brain at all. Maybe that’s why these men cheat on them because they’re all airheads? Or maybe they think they’d get a higher divorce settlement, if they cooperate? One really has to wonder though……..

Okay, Roland, this time I agree with you. Yes, I know what a wife is supposed to do, but the choice is hers. Sorry, he can just go on ahead and settle the matter alone. I’ll have his suitcase on the porch when he comes back.

A word to the wise: Remember, hon, if he did it to her he’ll do it to you. Remember too, it’s a two way street.

Maggie

When he resigns, Hilary can run for governor …

If Elliott Spitzer was any kind of man, he would have stood up there in front of the world and would not have LET his wife stand up before a world who was looking for her private reaction. She may have been standing behind him, but in essence, he was hiding behind her knowing she would pull some of the eyes off him.

Roland,
I am totally with you man!! These women need to get a backbone and tell these men where to go!! The men are the ones that screwed things up they need to deal with it themselves and stop dragging their wives out to be humiliated by their stupid actions.

Cynthia, Covington, Ga.

I wholeheartedly concur with Roland Martin’s commenIts. ‘m sure Mrs. Spitzer was under great pressure to be there during his statement to the press. Just once I would like to see one of these humiliated wives take the microphone and berate the spouse for the scoundrel he is. Spitzer obviously has no respect for his wife, his family, or women in general. I loved his comments about all this being a “private” matter. No, Mr. Spitzer, your actions were illegal and that’s a very public matter. Did all your law training just go out the window? The hubris here is unbelievable.

“No, it is not acceptable that you cheated on me. No, I will not stand at your side while you confess to the world that you treated me with such disrespect”.
Ladies, say it as you walk out the door!

I agree wholeheartedly. I can only say that these men should not even ask their wives to stand with them. Why would a wife stand next to this person who has defiled all that the vows of marriage hold dear. He was willing to engage in an extramarital affair with a prostitute for money, basically acknowledging his dissatisfaction with the bedroom skills of his wife. Now he wants her support? They are both hypocrites, to the world and to each other.
If Hillary Clinton had any guts, and did not seek power so deeply, she would have left Bill in 2000, citing adultery on numerous occasions. But he has what she wants, political clout. It is not a marriage of love, but one of expediency.
Women who stay with men under these conditions have self-esteem issues that need professional intervention.

I’ve often wondered why the wives of these cheating politicians make things easier for their husbands. They must be hurt and the public humiliation only makes it worse. I say let them face the public on their own.

Roland,
I absolutely agree!

I totally agree. Governor Spitzer’s wife looked like she was on about to fall apart. I felt so sad for her. She is better woman than I. There is no way I would stand in front of a group of reporters “pretending” that it was all going to be okay. In fact, I wouldn’t want my children witnessing that kind of humiliation. To have trust violated privately in a relationship is devastating, to have your spouse trot his problems out before the world while you stand there looking pitiful is unfathomable. The least the spouse deserves in this situation is the opportunity to have a little privacy and a little dignity.

I totally agree. Governor Spitzer’s wife looked like she was about to fall apart. I felt so sad for her. She is a woman than I. There is no way I would stand in front of a group of reporters “pretending” that it was all going to be okay. In fact, I wouldn’t want my children witnessing that kind of humiliation. To have trust violated privately in a relationship is devastating, to have your spouse trot his problems out before the world while you stand there looking pitiful is unfathomable. The least the spouse deserves in this situation is the opportunity to have a little privacy and a little dignity.

I wonder if these wives think they’re setting an example of character for their children when they stand with their husbands. Can’t even begin to imagine any other reason for them to subject themselves to more humiliation.

Men…. PIGS!!!! (Kidding) I don’t think I have ever heard of a WOMAN in HIGH public office that has had to ask HER husband to stand over HER shoulder while SHE ADDMITS to something of this nature. (I’m not saying that there has never been one ever, I just don’t think that I have ever heard about it!) THE BEAST!

WOMAN POWER! WOMAN”S HISTORY MONTH, INDEED!
GO- HILLARY!

Roland, I totally agree! These women should stand their ground and let their husbands face the public alone. Whatever embarrassment he feels won’t even compare to what she feels.

Why should Spitzer resign? Bill Clinton was elected and subsequently re-elected President by Democrats when they knew he was a morally corrupt pervert. Now, they are considering electing his wife President after she tolerated and supported him so she can become President. I think Spitzer should ride it out and then run for President. He seems to fit right in…

If Eliot Spitzer is guilty of a crime then he must resign. Otherwise, release every other person that has committed the same kind of crime. More important, every person that he has been a part of convicting of any level of prostatution needs to be pardoned. We are talking about traffiking to the local street to the Emporer Club VIP elite.
How can it be “ok” to be the govenor and be convicted of a crime that you are trying to fight. The office of govenor is not a sex addiction rehab program.
Carmen

I agree 100%. WHY on earth is the wife standing at his side??
Why do they walk up to the podium hand-in-hand while HE confesses. It’s humiliating. I’ll bet when they’re off camera, she’s giving him hell.
I told my husband many times, if he ever did such a thing and had to “fess” up to the public, NO WAY would I be at his side all sweet & understanding. He would find me in the attorneys’ office.

I could not agree more. It makes me despise the women a little bit even though THEY are the victims. I can’t describe how disgusting it is to see this AGAIN and AGAIN! At this point it’s become a stupid cliche. Dump him and get all his money, lady. Then run for governor yourself!

I agree with you Roland.

It is his mess up and not forgivable (unless you are a stupid wife).

If he cheated on her once, he will do it again….he’s not worth keeping.

I think these men need to understand that there is a real consequence to cheating….DIVORCE!

Why should she be dragged through his mud when he couldn’t keep his end of the deal.

Sad men.

I agree with you Roland. I would have kicked his butt to the curb if I were her.

It’s 3 am and a phone is ringing in the Whitehouse…

…It’s Elliot Spitzer looking for a good time but he hit the wrong speed dial number.

Thank you Roland! You are SPOT ON. I was thinking the same thing–here we go again with these idiotic politicians behaving horribly and then expecting their wife to stand beside them at some press conference as a last ditch effort to somehow save their reputation and/or career.

It is painful to see the women in the photos. But, who knows the story, really? And no one knows what we would do if we were in their shoes.

I feel bad for her but given that they have three children, it helps in some way for the wife to be there. I’m sure he still loves his children and whether his wife chooses to leave him later or not, at least the most public humiliation Spitzer has faced reinforces the notion for the daughters that their mother will stand up next to their father in public and deal with the family fallout in private. As it should be.

I doubt any political consultant in the world would be able to convince Mrs. Spitzer to go up there against her will.

And then, what? Pack their bags, gather their children and leave? You fail to consider the fallout from such a courageous act on the futures of the immediate and extended families. Your suggestion is supportive of a knee-jerk reaction that while natural in the fleeting sense, would do untold damage to so many loved ones in the long term. Ms. Spitzer could hardly be accused, in the clip I saw, of gazing at him adoringly. She, and others in her position, take the far more courageous stance of doing what is best for the private lives of all the members of their families, friends and associates. Your thinly disguised attack on Hillary fails the smell test.

The wives have a higher obligation and that is to their children, so it’s probably not the cheating husband they are trying to help, but their children and family is what they are desperately trying to preserve.

Roland

You are absolutely right - these cheaters should stand alone to confess their infidelity. After all, the wife didn’t stand behind them while they committed their adulterous behavior. Why should she stand with him when he confesses all? I’ve often thought that political advisers get these wives to stand with their spouse while they are still in shock and denial about what has been done, adding insult to injury. I hope that while the wife stands there glassy eyed with shock she is mentally tabulating what all she is going to take him for when she divorces him.

Annie Kate
Birmingham AL

Roland - I completely agree with you! Just once, I would like to see one of these political wives grow a backbone and kick her cheating husband out to the curb like he deserves. Throw his clothes out a window. Set his car on fire. Publicly humiliate him the way he has humiliated her. You know, I might vote for a woman like that!

Yes, indeed, why do they stand there like good old soldier wives? Cuz thats what wives do. The main reason a wife will be present is USUALLY for the picture it presents FOR THEIR CHILDREN. Women do TONS of things every day for other people and this little sickening display is one of the ways we do it.

Oh, you can bet, she’s gonna get her pound of flesh. And perhaps, Roland, standing there watching ones’ mate ADMIT to sins of the flesh is quite a delicious meal to swallow.

And lastly, for a very public wife to stand there showing her support SURELY will look good in court. when it is time to “divide” things : )

I disagree with all these feministic comments. The role the Bible set forth for the woman is to support and serve her husband in all circumstances. Even when betrayed, the woman must show compassion and devotion to the poor man who erred. Just kidding.

Roland…Roland…Roland…Not implying any thing wrong with’ya name here in saying it three times… But… Roland… What kind of witness is that you are speaking out your mouth? A Christian man as yourself truly should never put his wife in such a position. Yet, it is not true what God’s word says “Watch that you enter not into temptation knowing that Spirit is willing, but the Flesh is weak”. And, Roland….

Why you speak great defense for these women in your man wisdom; is it not by God’s own design to be a helper to your husband? You should be singing their praises for being obedient and helping lift them up in such a hard time of them loving them in their faults, you know for better or worse and not tempting them to walk in their self.

It is apparent that these men have fallen in weakness already… As it’s said “BE NOT BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD THERE GO I” when it comes to judging and condemning them, maybe a good word of encouragement that “We all fall short of the Glory of God” would be more edifying to the body of Christ to that we being his serve him at all times…Yet, we too are weak. ‘A… I know I am…I can’t do nothing without him…

Jill

Read the article about NY’s governor…not one mention that he is a democrat…are we suppose to take it for granted? Come on now…if it was a Republican…It would be in the first paragraph! Is this good reporting or grudgingly have to report it…

I always find it interesting that it is only after the husband is “busted”, that he then confesses and tries to come clean with the wife. Initially, she may not appear mad, but I’m sure she will get even!!!

Jolene, St. Joseph, MI

I have been married for twenty years, and believe it or not, I have been faithfull. My dad told me years ago that keeping a wife around is one of the easiest things in the world to do, if you stick to some simple rules. Don`t beat her, don`t cheat on her, and don`t drink up the bill money. He also added in a differnt conversation, “take care of your wife`s needs, or someone else will do it for you”. All of this was pretty easy for me to understand, even with my limited education. I don`t understand why these people with so much money and success, would risk so much over lust. When I was younger I used to drink to much,and I would say it`s not hurting anyone ele. In all reallity it affected everone I came in contact with. His wife should dump him, his state should dump him, and if he is ever in the position to be in public office again he needs to realize that his selfish actions affect tons of other people. If he wasn`t happy with his wife he should have at least , left her before he found someone else. He could have at least cheated on her without breaking the law, while doing so.

I think he should lose his job for what he has done that is a big crime what kind of govener would do this

some govener

These things seem to be happening so much that it becomes acceptable in our society.
He should be forced to resign and I hope his wife leaves him. This is a disgrace to our country.
I do not even know what else to say about this accept that it is awful.

It is really sad, that women have to stand behind their man for politcal issues. This man has three daughters. He violated his the trust between him and his wife and he deserves to resign. He has no moral values. I wonder what he would do if his kids were to grow up to be prostitutes. I understand people can make mistakes but this was no mistake. His actions were planned and should not be accepted by his wife. She is lucky if she comes out of this in her right mind. Men don’t think of the consequences and the consequences are worse than the actions. Many of us stay in the relationship because we think it is going to chage. Once a dog, always a dog.

his wife should divorce him for this and if I was his wife I kicked his butt out of my house

To Shadine Levental:

“The wives have a higher obligation and that is to their children, so it’s probably not the cheating husband they are trying to help, but their children and family is what they are desperately trying to preserve.”

WOW! What a twisted point of view! Standing behind a cheating husband in a news conference is sending the WRONG message to all other women and daughters! It is telling them that you should put up with ANYTHING a guy throws at you, no matter how disgusting or demeaning. It is also sending the wrong message to all the men out there, which is that it’s okay to walk all over your wife and treat her with disdain and disrespect and then expect her to stand behind him like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Don’t you get it, Shadine? It’s because of women like you that guys even get the idea that it’s okay to cheat on their wives and expect them to share their humiliation! And since when is it the wife’s job to keep the family together? And how is she doing that by setting a bad example for everybody else???

I won’t judge the wives. If they truly want to stand by their men in public then go ahead. But don’t make her do it. Mrs. Spitzer did not look like she wanted to be there today. If I were him, I would not have asked to stand there. It has become so cliche now that it has lost its meaning.

Mrs. Spitzer should have taken over the microphone and berated Elliot in front of the world as she hits him upside the head for being such a moron! That would have been an unforgettable press conference!

Goes to show you don’t throw bricks when you live in a glass house. I spent almost six years in Europe. I don’t know why this is such a big deal here compared to over there. Seems like there is less hypocrisy over there. Oh by the way oil is at $108- what is wrong with us worrying about Elliott getting some on the side? It doesn’t help me much at the gas pump.

I absolutley agree with you Roland. I am tired of seeing these women look adoringly at “their man” when he is unfaithlful and tells the world. It is not for the “good of the children,” not for one minute should anyone think this. It is utimately for the good of the politician and their future and the wives that go along with it deserve what they get; living with foolish opportunists who justify everything and anyone for their own ego. Yes, I expect them to pack their bags and “leave.” I’m sure they’ve all been well provided for.

I’ve never really understood why men think that presenting a united family front makes them look more respectable. First he chases skirts, then he hides behind them. Wimp.

But I’m guessing that most of these political wives are as much interested in protecting their own lifestyles as anything else. He’s going to hunker down and see how the storm blows before he decides whether to dig in and fight for his position or cut his losses and come back for another try later. If he survives the maelstrom, she does too. His cavorting with prostitutes is probably not the big shock to her that is to everyone else.

Dear Roland I am so happy that somebody has some common sense; indeed the woman standing ‎besides her unfaithful husband aggravates me. Why doesn’t he call the escort and have ‎she there to share the public humiliation? And please people let’s keep in mind that he ‎solicited a prostitute which is against the LAW!!

The hypocrisy of it all is mind boggling!!! The whole charade simply makes the public even more cynical about the integrity of our elected public officials.

I grew up in the same small southern town as Silda Wall Spitzer. She is by no means a “dumb wife”. I do believe she met Eliot while she was attending Harvard Law.
I do not think think anyone should judge this woman until you have walked in her shoes. Can you not see the pain in her face? I am sure she is shocked by the behavior of her husband. This woman has been truly hurt but as time heals I am sure she will be able to make the right decision for her and her children. Do not throw stones at her.

stay out of the personel lives of people, everyone has skeletons in the closet and and it is not up to you to open the door.

Stay out of personal lives, if the taxes payers ain’t paying for it.

To David A. Chapman:

A question: Did you ever cheat ? You can answer to yourself

I would hate to have to tell my daughter ten years from now why I stood there looking like an ass her father showed the world what the family really meant to them.

Imagine the pain Chelsea Clinton and all those other children are carrying around. I wonder if they grow up thinking affairs and sexual immorality is the norm.

I would have very little respect for my mother knowing that she caved into taking a secondary role to whatever the sexual whim of my father was.

She should have already been gone and not able to attend the press conference.

It’s a shame for them to drag their wives in front of millions while they have their “come to Jesus” moment. Bill clinton did the right thing by addressing his mess to the world alone. However I do believe the Clinton scandal made infidelity popular and acceptable among the countries high and mighty.

I agree completely!

Why does the spotlight of shame and disgrace have toshine on the
wife also? Why does her hurt and humiliation have to be fodder for
the press and millions of people who don’t even know her? Time
and time again we see these poor women paraded out on to a
stage by their immoral and politically fallen husbands.
He didn’t look ashamed at all while she looked totally destroyed.
Perhaps, the only good it did having her there was to point out
what a victim she truly was in all this. Compared to him tap
dancing and trying to save himself . Did anyone see any remorse
on this man’s face at all or in the tone of his voice? I sure didn’t.

Mrs. Spitzer needs our empathy and understanding, not our criticism at this terribly sad and public airing of her private pain. What I object to strongly is CNN’s constant viewing last night of past Spitzer file footage showing his 3 daughters at events with their parents. This is really off limits at a time like this for the children.
Anderson and other journalists are always questioning why Chelsea Clinton won’t take questions from reporters.
Having grown up through such a scandal in her own family, she is justifiably wary of the media. What’s to stop some smarty pants reporter asking her in a public arena about her father’s past indiscretions?
Better not to take a chance!

If she slapped him off the podium, people would applaud her.

As I watched last night , I had to wonder how can she stand there? How on earth can she have any respect for this man? Or for herself for supporting him? I likely would have slapped him silly if I had that kind or audience. I cringe when a woman puts up with things like this for the sake of their marriage or career , or worse HIS career
Women are strange creatures. it is not uncommon for a man to cheat and a woman to accept it and forgive. Mentally I think we are still in the era of our parents, honor and obey your husband. We can now support ourselves. We don’t need anyone to look after us and we don’t need to accept deceit as part of marriage.
Wake up and let him take is knocks, personally and professionally

my heart goes out to the governors wife, she looked devasted while standind next to him, if he had any compassion he would have told her to stay home and take it on the chin alone. he got himself in trouble let him get his way out of it if he can. kinda makes you wonder if has so little compassion for his wife, how much does he have for the people of new york

You are right Roland. They should spare their wives this humiliation and let them handle this in private. It is better to have this time in private than show the world your grief. I do not think it does much good anyways with public perception since the act has been done. Mrs. Spitzer looked completely humiliated in the press conference, I felt more empathy for her and even less for her the Governor.

If that were my husband, I’d be standing beside him, too. The only difference is that my hand wouldn’t be on his shoulder or arm. It would be on the knife protruding from between his shoulder blades.

Roland, I’m disappointed that you seem to mock a woman staggering under a huge shock. Anyone who behaves as self-destructively as Eliot Spitzer (or Clinton or all the others) is a person in deep trouble. The people who love them are both hurt and struggling to deal with the grave instability they’ve just learned about. Spitzer is addicted to reckless sexual behavior. It’s easy to condemn, but she obviously understands the complexity.