OUCH

“McCain is pretty storng for an old man.”

Good Lord John…I knew you were good at strong arming but jeeze..let go of my hand!!

Cynthia, Covington, Ga.

Good one John! Got me again with that old hand buzzer prank. Bye the way, where is your American Flag lapel pin?

Bush: “Eight years in this job makes your teeth fall out John.”

McCain, hissing through his teeth: “See, that’s how I was tortured as POW. They squeeze your hand like that while fletching their teeth, pretending to smile.”

Bush: “Ooouuu, man, that hurts! Let go of me or I’ll withdraw my support instantly!”

Bush: ” I endorse Mike McCain!”

McCain: “It’s John, Sir”

Bush: ” I endorse Mike McJohn!”

McCain “No Sir, the other way around”

Bush “I endorse John McMike!”

McCain “Uuhhmm,hehe, nevermind.”

Take it easy, John. I may have to veto a few more bills with that hand.

“Wow McCain, have you been working out?”

McCain through clenched teeth:

“Mr. President, please let go of my hand. I can’t stand next to you for too long…you know…its the approval rating thingy.”

Bush: Wow thats a firm handshake
McCain: What am I getting myself into?

Hey, watch that left hand, John. We’re Conservative. Remember?

(I bet you won’t post that one:)

DUMB AND DUMBER

Bush: “John, if you want the key to the White House, you’re gonna have to arm-wrestle me for it!”

bush to mccain: “well done john! but you got to whiten your teeth for the primaries…”

“If you wanna be President John, I strongly suggest you get some new ties.”

John McCain thinking, “Cheney was right, it’s easy to be a ventriliquist if you have the right dummy.”

Larry… Curly… Wait a minute, Where’s Moe?

Steve

So what was that about my illegitimate kid back in 2000? And Cindy’s drug problems? Take that you lame duck.

A conservative and a liberal agreeing to work across the lines!

Cynthia, Covington, Ga.

Photographer: “Hmm, I don’t think that “Mac and Cheese” thing is working. Let’s just stick with “cheese”. On the count of three…. one… two… three…. cheeeeeeese!”

“Say it George, or you’ll never use that hand again - I support John McCain!”

Uh what was I suposed to say for you today John?

OK, Mr. President….Now smile and say nice things about me.

Ouch! George, you’re hurting my hand, my friend!

now its my time to wear the teeth - you just smile…. i’ll give them back to ya in a second!!!

Bush: Ah, what the, Mccain you are squeezing the ‘@?$£’ out of my hand!

“I know McCain will be just as popular as I am!”

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

“Hang on tight John, we’re going down!”

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

“Wow only a few more months left in office, Mr. President”

“Hey guys what is this bozo talking about. Someone needs to tell him, I am the decider, and I will decide when my time deciding is up”

“you heard right, McCain-Bush…we’re gonna be unstoppable!”

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Bush - Oh-h-h your squezing my hand
McCain - Thats payback for 8 years ago…

“I’m serious, John is really happy I am endorsing him, that smile is genuine…honest!”

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Live from the White House … Grumpy Old Men in 3D

“And this Big-Mac has NEVER used performance enhancing drugs!”

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Bzzzz - gotcha!

Ouch John! Don’t squeeze my hand so hard. Uncle, uncle!

Charlotte D
Stockton CA

Bush: “I swear, it’s almost lifelike!”

David
Brooklyn NY

“Wonder twin powers, ACTIVATE!”

Brooklyn, NY

See, I can play nice with a senator.

George: Ouch, John that hurts.
John: Now don’t ever come near me and my campaign again unless you want to see my famous temper. Keep smiling……….

My friends—– this is my standing next to President Bush cheesey smile. Get used to it

OR

My friends— Do you think he actually knew where the red phone was?????

“Man your teeth are yellow John.”

“Well, at least I still have mine.”

Gee John, I bet you could even take Anderson Cooper with that grip. You should challenge him to an arm wrestling match at the next debate!

Bush: “Let me show you John’s sundial watch - its solar powered!”

OH JOHN..

OH DEAR…..

OH JOHN……

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT KUNG FU GRIP!

CAN I HAVE MY HAND BACK?

Denture adhesive cream ad:
“Poligrip user on the left and non Poligrip user on the right”

Bush, you ARE going to stump for me!

Owe! This old guy is strong,I know he can whip that skinny Obama,but I’m not sure he could take Hillary.

That’s an extremists-ly strong hand shake ya got there pardner

Don’t Think I’ve forgotten the 2000 Election, George

I forgot to wash my hand after I went to the restroom!

Bush:(singing) I’ve got rhythm, I’ve got music…gotta dance….

McCain:(thinking to self) *Just keep smiling…sqeeze the hand harder maybe he’ll stop*

John, please take it easy. I promise not to come out on the campaign trail if you just let go.

PLEASE JOHN…you only have to wait a few more months but you still have to win !

John, you’d better think about working on your tan.

Veneers Senator…veneers

Venice, CA

And to help Senator McCain, I give him… thy presidential teeth!

Bush: “They could have given me a moment to put my teeth in.”
McCain: “Check your pocket, sir.”
Bush: “Who are you?”
McCain: “You’re endorsing me for President.”
Bush: “Oh, nice to finally meet you Mr. Romney, I’ve heard great things about you.”
McCain: “My names’ McCain.”
Bush: “Wow, that was a big mistake.”

Bush to McCain: ” Ick, Don’t touch me. You have cooties”

Sarah

Pensacola FL

McCain: Say it, say it or I’ll bring you to your knees….

Bush: Okay, okay …Uncle…UNCLE…UNCLE!!!!

McCain: Not Uncle you idiot, say you Endorse Me. Or I’ll crush you.

“And here’s one of those torture techniques I learned in the war. It’s called the Chinese Joy Buzzer Torture!”

John: “Let go of my HAND!”
Bush: “No YOU let go of my hand!”
John: “NO you let go of my hand!”
Bush: “No you let GO of my hand!”
John: “No you LET go of my hand!”
Bush: ” You let go first!”
John: “You let go first!”
Bush: “You let go first or I’ll call my Secret Service guys.”
John: “You call your Secret Service guys and I’ll call mine.”

McCain: If only my teeth were as white as my hair….I could be as handsome as Mitt Romney

Bush: And if I had teeth, I could be as handsome as Bill Clinton, and then maybe the staffers would listen to me instead of giggling all the time .

“I”m so happy to turn this job over to you John I can sing.”

Owww John your hurting me.

“What!? You’re here to replace me!?”

“Uhh, which camera am I supposed to be looking at?”

Owww…. Ahhh… McCain has my full and unequivocal endorsement!

[Whispers:] You don’t have to strong-arm me for the endorsement there, John…. I’m on your side, remember?

- Detroit

Congratulations John, you’re the proud owner of the war in IRAQ!

McCain: So how soon before you go back to Crawford?

Pres. Bush: Not soon enough!

Hey John, let go a second, Barney’s going to town on my leg and Laura’s in the house teaching Hillary how to answer the phone.

Bush: “I’ve been spending a lot of time reading palms, and if you look right here John, you can see where these 3 lines on your hand come together and form an axis of evil”

That’s for beating me the last Election Gummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You’ll support me if you know whats good for ya!

aarrghhh…don’t squeeze my hand hard John…okay, I won’t make make my usual dumb remarks!

ahhhhhhh the buzzer trick!!

Oh! my God, I can’t believe this guy thinks strategery is a word.

Philip Lord
Mobile, AL

Quit tickling my palm John

West Covina, CA

Uncle! Uncle! Man. dont squeeze that hard John, you’re stronger than me!

Ahhhhhhh, oh wait, I’m not at the doctor’s office

“I voted for Hillary, Tuesday.”

Two good reasons to move to Canada.

Wow John ! I can feel the love!

AAAH! Someone give him a sedative. Its only the nomination…

Julio
Chicago

Bush: “John, where are you going now that you are the presumptive nominee for our party.”
McCain: “I am going to Disney World to see if Mickey will be my running mate… it may be the only way we can beat the Democrats in November.”

Mr President sir, will you please let go of the nation , I dont need your word a handshake will do.

“And then I said to him ‘be careful John! If you keep making that face, one of these day’s it’s gonna stay that way!’”

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

(GWB) John, the last time I was holding a guy’s hand this long we were taking a beautiful stroll through Saudi Arabia. Wait a second, does this count as cheating?

(JM) Just smile for the cameras please.

(GWB) Oh right, cameras.

Morgen (Scottsdale, AZ)

Yeah, me and J. Mac go waayyy back! Way back to…when was that??? September??!

Nor
alrington va

“What do you mean Gay Marriage is illegal?!”

I’m wearing my flag pin….where’s your’s? Didn’t you get the memo.

McCain: Do we really need his endorsement? The things I do for an election!

“Just remember John, it’s all about my legacy.”

Bush: Laura! Go grab that extra box of teeth white strips for Johnny.

Oh Gee! You do bite!

Actually, it was J. Mac’s idea to call it “The Surge”. I was planning on calling it “Operation: Ka-Blamo!”

Nor
Arlington VA

Bush (singing): “My Buddy, My Buddy! Wherever I go I know heeee goes…”

McCain: Oh brother…if I didn’t need the conservative right so much…..

Alright, is this wide enough for my boot?

Betty Ann
Nacogdoches,TX

Ahhh, come on! Do I really have to give the White House to him??!!

I hope only the 1/3 of the country that still likes you is watching!

Bush: “But I still have so much to do. I haven’t finished stepping on the working poor and filling the pockets of my oil tycoon cronies.”

Ok, I let you look at the bracelet and make a little comment, now let go of my hand.

This picture is going to make me have nightmares for months! Steven King couldn’t have done better.

Mcain: See I can play a conservative

Bush: Great, can you keep it up for 4 years!

OUCH! John, try a more conservative handshake next time…

The faces of the Republican Party:

fake smile and catchin’ flies…

“OUCH! Ok John ok! I WON’T campaign for you! Now let go!”

~Donna Polles
New Milford , NJ

“You know that ‘ole Amish saying - hands to work, hearts to Dog, I mean God. Sorry there John, sometimes I mix my words around.”

No, John, “passing the torch” is whatcha call one of them metaphors. We’ve got electricity to light the Whitehouse these days.

Whats that you said, I’m not popular at all? Hmm, I hadn’t heard that! That’s interesting. But then I didn’t know gas was going to $4 per gallon either. Oh well John, it’s your problem now. Just keep smiling like you care, he, he, he…..

Big smile! John, That Iraq mess is all yours.

Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Bush: I do.

Still without moving his lips, Mr. McCain then impressed the crowd by drinking a glass of water while the dummy continued to talk.

Bush to media: What are y’all looking at? Can’t two guys hold hands in public.

McCain: Hehe, good one your majesty.

“Please, would you tell me,” said Alice, a little timidly, … “why your cat grins like that?” - from Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Thanks for 2000, can you say Arizona’s favorite practical joke - Joy Buzzer

MMMMMM doggies…..Next time,Senator, let’s HIGH FIVE

“John, If we smile real big maybe Hillary can get us Healthcare too.”

What, no kiss?

I said pull my FINGER, not my whole hand!!

Don’t worry old buddy, if you have any problems getting elected, we can always turn to Florida. ha ha ha .

Steve
Los Angeles

“Hey John.. good thing for you the president has an awesome dental plan!”

REPORTER: MR. PRESIDENT HOW WAS LUNCH?
BUSH : NOT SO GOOD
REPORTER: WHY MR. PRESIDENT? SENATOR MCCAIN SEEM TO BE HAPPY.
BUSH: HE HAS TEETH

George, I’m not stopping the crunch until you cry Uncle Sam and apologize for the nasty campaign tactics you used against me in the 2000 election!

Awh!, John is going down with me now!

Fooled throughout most of the performance, the crowd caught on to McCain’s vantriliquism when his dummy properly pronounced “nuclear proliferation” without a hitch.

You want to join me in dance Mr. McCain. Ha ha!!!!! Come on Anderson hit the cheesy music…. O’ooo he’s already playing it.

(McCain thinking) - “Would you give the Iraq speech a rest already? This is MY big day.”

McCain: George, if you clench your teeth like this the bugs won’t fly in.

“Don’t worry john I don’t know anything about the economy either.” Chris Quadrino, Brooklyn,N.Y.

Bush: Men, I am so proud of you! You’ve come so far. I’m sure you’ll be just as popular as I was.
Mc Cain: (thinking) Great, just what I needed!

Your hurting my hand John.
Your hurting my polls Mr President.
Fairs Fairs now how about some White House Hot Doggies?

No, MY hand should be on top!!

One piece of advice for you John. If you want to be President, you have
to learn how to pronounce the word “nuclear”.

Don’t Think I’ve Forgotten about The 2000 Primary Election, George

Boy is he in for a surprise!

ouch you breaking my hand man do you want people to see my yellow teeth

just a step to the right, a flip of the wrist…And there you have the secret conservative handshake Mac!

it’s not being dirty - IT’S KEEPING THEM HONEST.

McCain : “Worst endorsement …..ever”

After waiting eight long years, John McCain finally gets even with
President Bush for the ugly battle in South Carolina.

He’s got my teef!

Say Uncle

Here’s Johnny!

Woodstock, New York

“Thank you Mr. President, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”….”Ha, that was a good one old man.”

OK, I agree to give you dancing lessons John, just don’t squeeze so hard.

The Cheshire Cat and the Chump-panzee.

And for my next trick I’m going to drink a glass of water while John sings Yankee Doodle.

Sean
Dallas, Texas

That’s right John, keep smiling like you know what you’re doing. It worked for me and I still don’t know what I’m doing here!

Bush: Wow, Senator McCain you have a very firm handshake.
McCain: Oh man, what am I getting myself into?

Bush: This guy won the nomination? i beat this guy last time around… i’m leaving?

John McCain: Clenching your hand is almost as satisfying as clenching the republican nomination.

Don’t look so scared, John. You can’t be worse than me! Ha! By the way - have fun cleaning up my mess, y’all!!!!!

“Gee John, I am honored that you asked me to be your Vice-President on the Republican ticket!” “Does that mean I can run for President again in 2016?”

Steve Pertusati
New York

“See folks, a medical alert bracelet. That makes him a true conservative!”

“So THAT’S why they call you ‘Walnuts’!”

Lara Kathryn
Sierra Madre, CA

Check out John’s mood bracelet!

Bush: Senator, you have a very firm handshake!
McCain: What am I getting myself into?

Ha, “ready on day one?”… Well, we’ll see about that! After the first couple of hours, she’ll what to take that phone off the hook! …Yep, way I see it John, on day two at high noon, she’ll be handing that phone over to Bill… Keep smiling.

Carla, Oceanside, CA

McCain ” I always knew he had a big mouth, but take it easy on the hand George, we’re friends aren’t we?”

Now I’m going to teach you how to steal the white house and presidency, since you now have mastered the don’t of gay marriage!

McCain (through his teeth): I told you NOT to wear the lapel pin. Now I look like an idiot!

Weren’t these two old white guys in the movie “Cocoon”?!?

After this photo I want you to disappear. Understand?

Hey President Bush I may be old but at least I still have my teeth.

‘You say Goodbye…But I say Hello”

McCain: “You should see where my other hand is.”

John you have a firm handshake.

“Ouch…Take it easy John.”

LARRY…….CURLY….WAIT A MINUTE WHERE IS MOE?

DR STEVE RASEY
HIGFH LEVEL, ALBERTA- CANADA

AAAHH! Obama doesn’t shake this hard just u & Hilary.

Yeeoww!! John, you’ve gotta a stronger grip from the “right” than people give you credit for!!

“Wow George, clenching your hand is almost as satisfying as clenching the nomination.”

You don’t have to be a genius to recognize one. If you did I would never have gotten to live in the White House.

I thought you said that you won’t hurt the old monkey!

Bush : You have a strong grip for a 81 yr old Republican, oops did i say that

What tensions left over from 2000?

Good thing you decided to keep your teeth John, it’s hard to make phone calls at 3 in the morning without them. Last time I prank called Rumsfeld he thought I said invade Iraq!

BUSH: “Where am I? I thought we were going to Chuck E. Cheese . . . and then I smelled chloroform. I didn’t endorse anyone, did I?”

I wonder how I got into this mess?

Bush: John I told you it my turn to wear the the teeth
John: Well sir I’m the one who have to look my best

OUUCHHH!!! I’m just kidding John, you hair is as thick as ever!

McCain : ” Yo Bush you know this is just for the fund raising , right ? ”

Bush: ” AAAAAAHHHH, at least you think like a Republican but let go the hand you squeezing me.”

“G’luck John. Smile for the cameras, yada, yada, yada. Now is that an ice cream truck?” -Bush

Jonathan M
Norwalk, CA

Bush: Ahhhhh Don’t squeeze that hard, I already accepted endorsing you.

McCain: Alright then.

Remembering the 2000 campaign, John McCain can’t resist the old buzzer in your hand trick…

“Okay, it’s a deal. If I lose to the Democrats, we’ll begin filming the sequel to “Grumpy and Grumpier.”

“Ok, ready? Big smiles everyone, say “stained teeth”!”

McCain: I’m finally a true conservative!
Bush: Not until you nominate me as your running mate!

Debby Owings MIlls, MD

HooWoa! That’s quite a grip, still harboring a lil animosity from 2000 eh? hehe..

Bush: Ahhhhh Don’t squeeze that hard, I already accepted endorsing you.

McCain: Alright then.

AHHH!
That’s one firm handshack you’ve got there, John.

Lets smile for the camera, John and I will foregive you for being late.

George, Do you think Hillary can shake your hand a little harder than me?

McCain: I wonder if this smile with president Bush looks real enough to win the conservatives and at the same time, fake enough to win the independent voters.

Bush : Kumbayaaaaaaaa!
McCain: What I am doing here?

McCain - “And if you think I’ll be seen in public with you again, you’re crazy”
Kingston, On Canada

Can we be friends and forget about the past, John?

This Vietcong Death Grip is payback for the 2000 campaign, Georgey!

Greg
Long Beach, CA

Now John, no matter how hard you squeeze my hand, I’m not leaving until after you are sworn in.

“Well…my friends…you should vote for this man, he’s still as vibrant as ever. You know a firm handshake speaks to a man’s character……And, look, you can’t see his lips moving. Now, he’ll drink a glass of water, while I sing Home On The Range.”

You better hold on tight. With all that hot air coming out of the Democratic party, you’re libel to get blown far away from the White House.

John, I think you put the Polygrip on your hand instead of your wooden teeth!

Pssttt, John, the new Maclean’s will help you with a whiter shine!!

Now you know why I was practicin’, meet my new pardner for “Dancing With the Stars.”

Here are the keys to the Titanic, Captain. Now excuse me as I slither back to the Oval Office.

“Okay fine . . . so you and Schwartzenegger work out together . . . LET GO!!!”

with teeth and without.

Let’s all sing together, “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran!”

“Alright, you guys . . . together now . . . say “LOBBYIST!”

Keep smiling John, finally people see something common between you and George Washington.

Ouch! You lied! There’s nothing wrong with that hand!

Hey John.. I hope that is not your other hand on my butt!

Even lame ducks still quack.

Yes, there was a joy buzzer in McCain’s hand… his other hand.

Hey you know the free mason’s hand shako too!!!???

“Duuuh, which way should I go George?”

I got you now, Do you remember what you did to me in South Carolina in 2000, well it’s pay back time

Devon Garrett Fort Myers Fl

Ahh…. McCain didn’t brush his teeth!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Uncle! Uncle! UNCLE!

I rather be shaking Hilliary Clinton’s Hand

MacCain uses his iron death-grip on President Bush to get revenge for the 2000 campaign.

“Are you tickling my palm?” (wink, wink)

I’m not to old to be president, I still have all my teeth!!

McCain”Was he really tap dancing before I got here?”

Mccain: This is much better than meeting Larry Craig in that airport bathroom, that was awkward.

Thanks for the endorsement…..now please do me a favor and forget all about me until after the election.

But Daddy, I don’t want to be nice to the bad man

Introducing:Chester Cheetah and Curious George….

Whoaaa! You been raiding Roger Clemen’s medicine cabinet?

Do you think we can keep this ventriloquism act up for 8 more years?

Wow! I bet you can answer a lot of red phones at 3 am!

George, thanks for letting me borrow your dentures for the campaign.

Hey! Ease up on the grip John. We’re supposed to make folks think we like each other.

Okay, no offense, give the people the friendly smile and let’s get out of here!

BEAT 360 ‘He may be younger, but I still have all my teeth”

Rui Alves Brampton Ontario, Can

Whoa John! Yes, you can call me on the red phone. Now I’ve got Comcast Digital Voice.

Bush: Come November, this my friend will have a face looking as pretty as mine. Forget this age thing.

“Get a grip!”